happy birthday?

Jon: "What's your favorite holiday?"
Me: "Thanksgiving. Wait, I take it back. My favorite holiday is my birthday because it's all about me."

I was joking right? No 21-year-old can make a statement like that and be serious, can they? Yet, as I always say, there is some truth to all sarcasm. I just hate it when there's truth to my own.

My favorite childhood memories revolve around family vacations and birthday parties. Mama always threw the best themed parties. At four I had a circus (clown included). At 7 I had my first slumber party. At 13 I had two dances: one with a "Survivor" theme with my best friend Macy and one where my cousins Kolby and Jennifer taught us how to two step. At 15 I had a "Come as You Are" and my mom surprised all my friends (and me) and took us to dinner...most of us were already dressed in our pajamas. At 21 the party was themed "A is for Allison" and everyone dressed up as something that started with an A...did I really not see the selfishness?

I've had a birthday party every year of my life. I love birthdays because my mama made everything so special just for me. Is she to blame for my selfishness? (Absolutely not, Mom.) Am I going to throw themed parties for my children? You better believe it!

So today I turned 22.

I had all these expectations for Jon and things he was supposed to do today since it was my birthday. And as all these expectations I had in my head failed to come true, I was so disappointed. But it wasn't Jon's fault. It was mine. It was my birthday and I didn't get what I wanted. Let me just again remind you that I am 22, not 4.

Jon encouraged me to have some time with the Lord to see why I was so upset and this blog is the by-product of my J.time (J=Jesus).

The Lord spoke to my heart. Though this has been a tough week, I wasn't upset by illness or bad test grades, I was upset about not getting my way. I am selfish. I hear that you learn this lesson a lot during the first few years of your marriage so maybe the Lord is just opening my heart so I can get a head start :) When I confessed my selfishness and asked for forgiveness, my joy was restored!

I was able to actually see ALL that the Lord had blessed me with this year on my birthday: 160 facebook messages, 2 letters in the mail, 25 texts, 6 happy birthday songs...not to mention a special delivery picnic basket from Jon and fun new shirts and delicious angel food cake from my roomies!

I went to bed very happy. I was so grateful for my future husband who gently called me out of sin and pointed me to the Father. Today was a great day.